I came across that quote and I could immediately relate to it. I become very irritable and discontented when I'm bored and so I began thinking of what stirs me. On the face of it, a lot of things... work, cooking, reading, ropes. But then as I thought about it a little more, I realized that there's a common element that's a more appropriate answer to the question of what stirs me.
Challenge. Being challenged is what stirs me. I can challenge myself, but what really gets me going is being challenged by others or in front of others. I can't imagine how I didn't realize it before, but I'm definitely an exhibitionist. Perhaps I wasn't one before, I don't know, but I am now.
I'm a performer, a chameleon of sorts. I'll adapt to whatever I think the audience wants. Within reason... I won't become someone else. I'm not an impersonator. I don't want to imitate someone else. I just enjoy playing with people's preconceived notions of who I am and for that enjoyment I'll pour myself into likely and unlikely molds. And as long as it's a challenge, I'll keep pushing myself into the boundaries of my invention for the whim of those watching.
Sometimes the challenge is a mental one - project confidence when I feel like I am on the verge of cracking. Talk back to my superiors, speak up with a certainty I don't feel. Raise my voice, defend thoughts and fight for others when all I want to do is crawl under the desk and hide. Challenge myself to say "yes, I can" even if only in a frightened whisper to myself when I want to believe that I can't.
Sometimes it's physical - let's see just how far back my arms will bend before the shoulder pops. Pain measured in stinging blows or constriction of tightly bound limbs. How many breaths separate the high of levitating on the brink from the moment "yellow" erupts from clenched teeth with a cry of surrender?
Sometimes, if I can focus on just one aspect of the challenge, I can exceed my own expectations. Especially when my pride is on the line. I don't think I've ever realized just quite how much my pride matters to me. When it's only me, I'll fold in surrender often without even trying to fight. But when challenged in front of others, whether I know them or not... In a battle between common sense and pride, pride will often ride far ahead of common sense until self-preservation pulls on the reigns.
There is something to be said for the fuzzy boundary between challenge and willful self-destruction.
